Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
