4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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