My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can't talk, ducks in the car
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
