I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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