so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
