yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
