I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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