the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
