I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
