dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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