You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize