it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
