i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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