and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
