Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
