His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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