i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
