you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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