I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
