Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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