We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
