We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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