I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
