Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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