Do you still have your period?
4 words: hood of his car
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
