I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
