how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
