I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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