She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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