"it" just moved
I'm jealous of your bromance
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
