She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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