My liver just broke up with me...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
