i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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