We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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