Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
