the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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