I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize