Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
