Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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