At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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