I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
