i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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