Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
