i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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