How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
