This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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