I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize