a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
