Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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