Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
