A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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