My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
