Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
