Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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