if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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