I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
