i jhust puked up my retainher.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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