I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
