i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
