What did we do last night that was yellow?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
