Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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