OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
