I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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