All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
