there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
