Nicole vs. Life
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
